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Friday, April 9, 2010

Journey Back to My Old Self

A colleague today surprised me with a question:

"Every time I see you, you were always cheerful. You seem to be happy all the time. What's your secret?"

I was pretty taken aback. The fact is, I don't see myself as that happy. If anything, I would think I am unhappy. You know... being stressed out at work, away from loved ones, and all that.

"I guess I'm just happy that I'm in the presence of company."

Which is true.

My friends in secondary school used to say I laugh at the smallest things like there's no tomorrow. The last time I was called "cheerful" was in 2003 by a course-mate at university - still all fresh from my innocent KK days, still oblivious of the horrible energy-sucking people I'd just met and would continue to hang out with for years to come.

Another old friend told me a week ago I now laugh a lot less. That felt like a slap in the face. It forced me to face the reality that I have changed.

So when my colleague asked me that question today, I was delighted. There is progress in my journey back to my old self. There is hope still, after all.

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