Friday, October 10, 2008

Smile Factor #8

There is this series of entries I started about my fond memories which always makes me smile when I think about them. I call them the Smile Factors. The previous Smile Factors can be found at the following links (in my old blog):

Smile Factor #0
Smile Factor #1
Smile Factor #2
Smile Factor #3
Smile Factor #4
Smile Factor #5
Smile Factor #6
Smile Factor #7

So here goes No.8.

Friends, you know I was in a Convent school right from primary to secondary school, right? So my communication skills with guys weren't exactly smooth. So when I began mixing with people outside of school, which included members of the opposite sex, I was kinda...clueless. My strategy was to act like it didn't bother me at all to be around guys, acting all boyish and shunning those who flirted like nobody's business (while secretly admiring their self-confidence).

Anyway. There was this social gathering when I was in Secondary 4. There was this one really dorky guy, whom I felt pity for because nobody seemed to be paying any attention to him all night. Once, he started to speak and I think he tried to crack a joke. While he was talking, I saw that nobody else was listening, so I thought I should listen to him so he didn't feel disappointed. Just when I was beginning to show him my attentive look, I suddenly had a thought. What if he misunderstood my intention and thought that I liked him? I mean, I didn't dislike him, I just didn't like him that way. I know, this was a really silly thought my 16-year-old mind at the time came up with. Oh, the naivety! In case you're wondering, the smile factor here is the silliness of that thought.

The sad thing, though, is that I did end up looking away, ignoring him just like everybody else. I wish I wasn't so shallow. Nerdy guy in social gathering, I'm so sorry.

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